For the first time in a long time I have an abundance of free time. Which is a mixed blessing at best. I'm accustom to a 40 plus hour work week. Which leaves little to no free time for family friends or any sort of social gathering. Granted I'm not too big on social gatherings cause I"m socially awkward to put it as nice as possible. Been kinda feeling disconnected from my "friends" I use the term loosely. Lately I feel like most people don't wanna associate with me anymore for whatever reason. I don't get responses when I text people to hang out or if I do it's short responses. Can't help but feel like some what unwanted. the foodswings fam, my girlfriend, Beau and dougy are at least there but every one else just seems to busy to be bothered. I'd much rather prefer to be told "Mike I can't stand to be around you. You're fucking annoying." or "Mike you're sketchy I don't wanna be around you" or even "Mike you're not straight edge anymore so we're not friends anymore" than be avoided or cool guyed.

So lately ...

I've become more of a recluse my roommate and my girlfriend are the only people who really see me unless you frequent the same areas as I do. It's kinda making me feel like I have no friends. The things I tend to do cause I can never get any one to hang out when I'm free and my gf is busy, 1. draw 2. get food by myself 3. ride around on my bike taking pics of graffiti. 4. gym 5. look at porn (working on a series of erotic paintings although I do masterbate frequently when I'm bored.) 6. People watch.

If I didn't have my girlfriend, My roommate John and my bike I probably would've totally lost it.

Here's my theory on why I don't feel like I have any friends. first off I've changed a lot over the past year or so my views on life are drastically different from those of a year ago. Second I work 6-7 days a week 12 hour days most of the time leaving me no time to hang out unless it's after midnight and I'm generally too fucking tired to do a damn thing. I really don't think any one I've considered a friend gives two shits about me not being straight edge any more.

it's my day off so I won't waste to much more time complaining or venting I'm gonna take my old lady to coney island cause she's never been down there.

So today has been an odd day I feel fucking weird. I don't feel like any one cares or listens a side from my girlfriend and John and with John it's like about 50% of the time I don't feel like I get my point a crossed cause he's so set in his ways. I feel like every one is just waiting to talk at me about whatever bullshit that's going on in their lives or they do semi listen and just wait to cut me down.

I miss my Dad a lot lately, It's been forever since I've had a chance to go upstate and see my parents. I just work so damn much and never have the chance to go back upstate or rarely do I have a day off.

The Graffiti entry

http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/
http://hit2kill.blogspot.com/


if you have to ask .....

Most of you know I've been arrested for graffiti. I got off with little more than a hefty legal fee because my civil liberties were grossly violated and I'm not really shit in the graffiti world. It just blows my mind that people are forced to do hard time for graffiti. Two prime examples Hert and Revok, Hert's story via a site set up by friends of the artist a 23 year old kid sentence to 1-3 for FUCKING GRAFFITI!!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY OF YOUR TAXES ARE BEING WASTED FEEDING AND HOUSING THIS KID!!!!! We're in a Depression and our country continues to piss away millions of dollars on this prosecuting graffiti artists. By all means if they should be punished make them paint over/remove the mess they made. But before I go off on a tagent, on to Revok this is an article that will bring you up to date on the situation Revok's story via the huffington post btw his bail before trial was set at the low low price of $320,000.00 cause he's on some celebrity graffiti status he gets off with 6 months again think of all the money wasted to prosecute these guys. Yet the serial killer who's running loose killing hookers on long island remains at large.... makes you think. Yeah I'm probably preaching to the choir but it's my opinion if you don't like it don't read my blog.


I fell asleep before i could finish where I was going with this

Death is certain

Being as I live an odd life, odd things happen. I found out today that this graf writer I met a few times passed away Sha Money. I was walking around the lower east side with my gf, saw ch put him up with hso thought it was odd. Then I was on the JMZ line headed home saw a Vizie tag on the platform also put up Sha Money up but this one had an R.I.P. under it. Well I shot a text to my friend Danny who introduced me to Sha and well he told me he passed kind of fucked up my whole day. It's a bummer nice guy taken before his time.

working out.

Started working out on a pretty much day to day basis, feel pretty good about it. slowly getting to where I want to be with my body. I'm a hard gainer so I literally have to be stuffing my face 24/7. I'm not trying to be Ronnie Coleman or anything. I'd just like to be a solid 160 in good shape. It was kinda scary at first I dropped down from 140 to 122 but I'm slowly gaining it all back in muscle I mean what little fat I had on my body is gone.

A.d.d.
Lately my A.d.d. has been acting up a lot more than normal. So to combat it I've taken to using a dry erase board to list all the stuff I need to do along with bills and drawing projects I've taken on. Also I have a calendar which I'm going to start writing important stuff on.

My phone I have next to no reception at my place so if you don't leave a voice mail I generally don't know you called. Also if you're calling me to get a hold of John I'm not going to return your call cause I'm not John's fucking secretary If he doesn't respond to your calls txts e-mails and such take a fucking hint.

explaining a feeling.

This morning I looked in the mirror, I mean I really took a good look at myself, my face and I didn't recognize this tired young man who was pale and had bags under his eyes which lead me to believe he had not slept a wink in a very long time. As I started my day I gave a lot of thought to how I came to look this way or be the way I am. How did I get here? How am I this apathetic about ideals I'd fight tooth and nail for years ago. I understand people change and definitely change in leaps and bounds in your teens to mid-twenties but I'm still at a loss for where I'm at with who I am right now. I don't call my self straight edge because I don't feel it fits. I just don't feel I need that label and that association with a group of people who I don't see eye to eye with. I could go off on tangent about this but I'll spare you. I felt like I was going some where with this yet I feel like I lost the feeling like something epic is just at the tip of my tongue and I'll finally be able to explain myself. So that people will understand me. I've come to realize it just is what is. No one person is going to completely understand me because no one person has shared the experiences that I have had in my life to date.



As friends rust- We on some next level shit

What we've got is an amalgam of spent ideals,
an incomprehensible mismatch of spent ideals.
Self-congratulatory edicts spit from gold-plated mouths,
that will never understand what it means to miss a meal.
Don't tell me what I need until you've needed anything.
Private-school anarchists with bought trains of thought,
donned in T-shirts screaming slogans of wars never fought.
And I'm supposed to hide my change?
For who and for what?
To appease the piss-ants pretending their haves are have-nots?
I know what you came out here for

this is kinda how I feel