This morning I looked in the mirror, I mean I really took a good look at myself, my face and I didn't recognize this tired young man who was pale and had bags under his eyes which lead me to believe he had not slept a wink in a very long time. As I started my day I gave a lot of thought to how I came to look this way or be the way I am. How did I get here? How am I this apathetic about ideals I'd fight tooth and nail for years ago. I understand people change and definitely change in leaps and bounds in your teens to mid-twenties but I'm still at a loss for where I'm at with who I am right now. I don't call my self straight edge because I don't feel it fits. I just don't feel I need that label and that association with a group of people who I don't see eye to eye with. I could go off on tangent about this but I'll spare you. I felt like I was going some where with this yet I feel like I lost the feeling like something epic is just at the tip of my tongue and I'll finally be able to explain myself. So that people will understand me. I've come to realize it just is what is. No one person is going to completely understand me because no one person has shared the experiences that I have had in my life to date.
As friends rust- We on some next level shit
What we've got is an amalgam of spent ideals,
an incomprehensible mismatch of spent ideals.
Self-congratulatory edicts spit from gold-plated mouths,
that will never understand what it means to miss a meal.
Don't tell me what I need until you've needed anything.
Private-school anarchists with bought trains of thought,
donned in T-shirts screaming slogans of wars never fought.
And I'm supposed to hide my change?
For who and for what?
To appease the piss-ants pretending their haves are have-nots?
I know what you came out here for
this is kinda how I feel
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