Trying so hard not to go off the deep end

Since I got in trouble staying outta trouble has become quite the task.

I don't know why I can't forget the two numbers not in my phone and are the two people i need to leave behind and move on with my life. One is a total attention whore some where in there is a good person cause she's held me down and been there for me when I was in a shit situation. The other is the only person who I truly love unconditionally she can honestly do nothing to make me stop loving her. I wanna hate them both so bad but I can't. I can't move on and it's crippling me.

I fucked up royally that's why I'm where I am. I made a huge mistake and some dumb decisions which has led me here. Where do I go now? The Girl I love won't talk to me and I can't seem to move on. Every girl I'm mildly interested in dismisses me for stupid reasons. Like cause I don't drink. I know I'm better off still it's a hard knock at the old self esteem. I'm an abrasive person and I know this. I think I'm destine to be alone and never feel at home.

My heart is an open wound.

I'm gonna salt my wounds and push ahead cause I can do. OVER POWER OVER COME NO OTHER CHOICE!